pokefeo

Fuck this. I keep wishing I was somewhere else.

I stare at you with contempt, you look at me the same.

Enjoy

“Rain always starts in the mind.”

The “I wonders” must have all dried up.

Mistakes make people better through constant change. This is a theory I decided on tonight, or this morning for that matter. I don’t mean to say that accidently mistaking flour for sugar will cause you to give the homeless guy around the corner money next time you see him, but the more life changing mistakes break the habits that bind and overall destroy our lives. After talking with Brandon, like I used to when I hated my life in highschool, I came to the conclusion that the mistake isn’t the piece of the puzzle that changes the life for the better, rather it is the regret or remorse that one feels that brings about the change.

Humans hate change. It can be argued any way you like, but in the end it is statistics and common sense that breeds this theory. The best saying is that if “something is good, why change it?” I believe this is a perfect example of said theory. On the same lines we as humans need a force to induce change into our lives or we become complacent and unhappy. Thus, as much as I hate to admit it mistakes bring about that change in the most simple of ways. The best part about this “change inducer” is that the mistake does not have to be real to act.

What one person might view as a mistake may be perfectly sound to another. It is really the regret, remorse, guilt, or other similar emotion that brings about the change to be “better,” or worse if that’s what suits you. So to revise my theory, The feelings similar to regret breed change in a person’s life. If I regret not putting the car in the garage because it hailed and dented the hood, then I am more prone to pull the car into the garage next time.

While this doesn’t signify a huge life change, it does prove that not wanting something bad to happen, or regretting that you didn’t take that “extra mile” leads you to do it next time, in hope of reward. Ethically this is a terrible flaw in humanity. It is such because life is based on a reward scale. I do action A because when I didn’t do it before something bad happened. My theory  (That would be number 3 on the theory list) is that living a reward-driven life causes problems in the long run. “Complacency breeds contempt.” This quote (I don’t know who said it.) Is a good indication of what I believe a reward based existance entails. Person A becomes complacent with the rewards they are gaing through the regret theory. Each time person A fails at something, later down the line they retry said action but instead choose the path that goes the “extra mile” thus activating the reward. What happens when there is no reward at the end of the action?

Does that person fall back to the beginning of the cycle? Does all their regret based actions fail to really change anything about their lives and do they start from scratch again, not becoming better or worse for what they have learned?

There are several ways you can tear apart my theory, but I believe that by speaking a theory (or typing) it is given a life of its own. In my opinion the reward based life brought on by the cycle of regret is not a positive way to live. If it was followed at some point there would be a mistake that could not be tried for a second time with a better outcome, or a mistake that would lead to no reward and thus put an end to the positive effects. The question that arises, out of the many, would be: Is it better to take the safer or more risky action regardless of the reward?

Brandon, now is the time for you to tell me how dumb I am. To be a man and not a pussy. And to stop crying. It’s alright, I know you mean well.

What happens when your own mother starts looking for the spots that would be best to tag? Not to mention offering to drive you there in order to show you just how to get in without being seen by those pesky cameras. What comes after that? Does she start asking you if you want to know the best way to score crack, sell guns, pimp out women, and deal drugs? Is this whole graffiti thing really a gateway crime, but instead of the writer being lured into a world of criminals instead it is the parents who are enabling? I’m slightly scared that my mother is an enabler. She bought my first can of paint, bribed me with cans to come if I did chores or picked up groceries. Does this mean that one day she will end up buying my first gram of crack or putting down money on a hot 45?

Kinda makes you wonder if it’s all worth it. I wonder if she hates cops as much as I do. I wonder if she knows that what I am doing is considered a felony in New York and a gang crime in New Jersey. I wonder if she likes pink or blue better and in the next piece I do in that place that she shows me tomorrow does she want me to write Julie, Julie Ann, or Mom next to the heart.

Life is all about that I wonders, ’specially when you’re only twenty and you got alot of time to wonder.

To think that trainyards in Ohio are so easy to just walk onto and start taking pictures. I like to think that if I was a trainspotter spending most of my time taking pictures of trains all day then this would be the best possible place to go. At least, this is what I decided today as I walked onto the CSX Cheetah Line (Yes, it is seriously named after my favorite large cat) and began to map out the yard for later “missions.” I was very pleased that there were no cameras and that there was just a large amount of spot lights that dotted the area.

With that out of the way, I am sorry I hadn’t posted in a long time. I have been working, visiting Courtney, and tryin’ to keep myself sane. My paint and markers came, small mini cans that literally look like small cans of nose spray. It’s amazing how much 30ml cans hold and how easy they are to use up. My drawings have gotten a little more complicated, cleaner and more “piece-like.” I started using a saying, started thinking about crews again, and started checking on my spots more. People have gone over my stuff, the things I did when poke was still new. When I saw that today I was pretty pissed, even though if you asked me now I would say that those Poke pieces are shit and I should have waited to start piecing. I was more angy that they had the balls to go over my piece, something I spent time and risked my very freedom for. I have the name or at least who I believe went over my piece since it was the same color and same style. Let me catch this dudes pieces and stuff, I’ll ravage his shit and teach him what it is to be from Ohio. “Money” is a terrible tag name anyway.

Now that I’ve got that outta my system, I guess I’ll toss in a few pictures and maybe a count and be out. But before I do there is a possiblity that I will be going to Utica Labor day weekend till that thursday. I’m hoping it turns out that way.

No count today.

Piece out.

EDIT: I had to put this in..

Welcome, first off:

I want all of this. To be fair, I’ve seen worse bills in my time for just about the same amount. When I first started buying paint I was paying 7.75 for a can. Now though, through experience and the fact that I like money, I’ve wised up to my failures of playing the system. This seems a little expensive for a few tiny cans of spray paint, but to be honest this is rather cheap. As the count has stated I have been pretty low on paint since I got my bike, so I do need this…I think.

Either way, I think this is what I’m gonna get. Then maybe a few more things from another store if its at all possible. I’m gonna keep this write-up saved till later tonight, since I am gonna try and convince Freddy to take a drive to cleveland tonight and hit up a paint shop there. Maybe, just maybe, I can haggle with the owners and get Montana for 5 instead of 5.25. It’s a risk I’m tryin’ to take.

ON the tech note, the Montana Alien Poltergeist 250ml can…GLOWS IN THE DARK. Thats pretty crazy if you ask me, since I can think of all sorts of place that it could be sprayed on that gets tons of light in the day. And its a greenish glow, which is pretty neat. As for the Pockets and Micros, well I’ve never used either but if the size is as I hear..I am supposed to be able to sneak them into clubs and past bouncers with ease. Thats how tiny they are.

Imagine putting your name up all over clubs.. I know, terrible isn’t it. Who would do such a thing.

Finally, I hate work. I thought it was gonna be a pretty sweet job, but to be honest its more draining than anything. I might complain alot, but when I see the 600+ paycheck I get its a different story. But I still hate it. Oh and no tattoo till I get to NJ..or even NYC… People are stingy and don’t want to get paid I guess. Whatever.

Pic of the day:

Count: (On a scale of 15)

Amount of hate I have for GM: +10
Amount of sleep I’ve been losing: -4
Amount of gas used this week: +13
Amount early mornings: +7
Amount of tattoo artists talked to: +6
Amount of artists willing to work: -6

Buenos dias

Freddy corrected a fatal error that I had on my last post. Yes  E. Getchya Drum On Should have been included in my pefect day. Ah well, I’ll save that one for later.

I really don’t have all that much to put into the post other than a picture of that new tag I was talking about. Really don’t pay attention to the letters after the M. I just needed filler.

I said I would do the count today, so I guess it’s only right that I do it. Also, take a look over at my boy Freddy’s blogg. smuglyfe.net He’s the reason I got this thing..And his sketch book that I posted up in an earlier post is crazy good graphic design stuff. Its amazing what he does with all that hair in his eyes….

GM employees that I’ve pissed off in the past three days: 6

Guarantee for a summer help job at GM next summer: 1

Cute girl who almost got the cops called on me: 1

Times I would do it again: Waaay too many numbers.

Enjoy.

Alrighty, well because my phone died about an hour before I was done with work today (Courtney!) I decided that I should probably draw up the next concept for ya.  Before that, since this is a blog I’ll run through the title for ya.

A. I got a offer to move to first shift and work by mom.

B. GM is gonna hire me next summer for work so thats a nice 18 something an hour for four months.

C. I had a cute girl text me till my phone died.

D. I actually had a cute girl text me till my phone died.

Okay then. No count tonight, I’ll toss up the count in the next post.

Well, I got about an hour before work and I just wanted to post up something I did yesterday at work in the few breaks that I had. It wasn’t a good day yesterday, almost got into a fight with a few GM employees that were around 45 years old. Apparently they’ve never had anyone stand up to their bullshit of pushing vending machines infront of me so I can’t get the trash out and shitting in already clogged toilets.

Apparently they didn’t know I had a fuckin’ mouth on me, ha. They sure do now.

Here’s the Drawing and then the count. Enjoy. Sorry Nell, I was working on a concept but it got shifted to this.

Paint: Still low but holding since I’m back at work

Stickers: Still zero cause I just don’t have the time

Markers: Too many

Chances: Two maybe three if I play my cards right after work today.

Random Thoughts: One - If educated young people write their names like Geothe says then it is only right to assume that I am educated, but experience turns to the opposite. How can a person be educated and dumb at the same time, without common sense mixing into the group?

This will be up for a day before it goes in the Passworded site that keeps all of the pieces i’ve done safe. If you want the password, just ask. You should probably have my aim or my cell.

Tada. 

So it’s 1 am, I’m almost positive that I am hyper only because I don’t have work tomorrow, I am still in this cut off tee that I really shouldn’t be wearin’ without the appropriate muscles to fill it up, and I’m debatin’ whether or not to go to walmart and pick up some tattoo magazines.

Normal life as usual.

Well, suppose it’s time to get down to business.First off, I have Concept #2 for Nell. I know it’s taken a while and I know it should have been up almost a week ago, but with being off work and gettin’ that bike, with taggin’ up walls, and buying paint I just haven’t had the time. So I have a special treat for the three people who actually read this blog, ha.

First:

Sorry that there isn’t any B. but at the moment my tattoo is becoming very frustrating to draw…Expect more concept drawings done the road.

Next up is some graphic design stuff. I am sorry if I bit some of your stuff Freddy, lemme know and I’ll toss you some royalties.

Enjoy:

Well thats it for the creative side. Lemme throw up the count and be out.

Cans of paint left: 29 from 46…NO WHITE ONE BLACK………

Stickers: 0

Tags since gettin’ the bike:11

Pieces since gettin’ the bike: 4

Oh, before I forget. The next piece I do reps the crew (god I’m gangsta?). Quizzy, Miguel, G-Had, Luis, Marley, and Nando. I got you guys..Its gonna be a picture for the ages.